Dear Fred,

I have to stop waiting until things work out before writing you. It’s been six months. 

I keep thinking that like other’s life, mine would fall into place one by one like dominoes. It never has. Life–my life has a tendency to align like an eclipse. All at once, at the same time. I’m scared shitless until then–night sweats, dizziness, the sun’s too bright, the morning is too cold, I wish someone could hold me–then like a child gazing at the night sky in awe, it happens. Everything I want appears and it's not dangling in front of my eyes, it's held out to me in the palm of a God-like hand. I must only pick it up. And Fred, the stars are beginning to come out.